Surprise Weddings

“She thought people would be upset if we didn’t tell them.”

“So what if they get mad!?!? It’s your day! You should do it how you want!”

Responsible Party

I don’t hate police officers. I’m afraid of them though. I’m not really what one would consider a minority, I’m a white female so I understand at least a little where I have privilege (though I’ll admit there is much I am ignorant of), but I am afraid of them still. I’ve seen how they can become destructive. Manipulative.

We do this.

“When we approve of the reality of a film, we are really affirming our comfort with it; our desire to accept what we see.” – Robert Kolker “Film, Form, and Culture” 

We do this with more than just film. We do this with every story. Including the real life tales people often tell us about themselves. It is part of human nature. We weigh the authenticity of a human life, judge it to be real or fake, then go on with our lives after having cast our judgement. 

Why? 

Because we like to think we are God. 

Lake Side

I’d never seen it that still before in my life. The great lake mirrored the gray sky leaving no horizon in the distance. An infinit pane of glass stretching into a mysterious beyond and further than the universe could reach. It looked as though you could walk on it until forever, a nightmarish and desolate plane. A mass of nothingness causing blindness that would penetrate your eyes and deeper still into your soul. 
There was a satisfying beauty to such nothingness. A terrifying calm. The kind that left you to suspect something terrible would happen, or that you would be lost forever were you to venture out into that vast expanse of wasteland. 
As infinite as it seemed, I knew there was an end beyond that horizon. Another shore perhaps just like this one. He was on that shore. “You’re so far away.” I whispered to the invisible horizon. I wondered if he would be standing on the other side of the edge of infinity, whispering the same statement. Wishing he could just walk across to me as I wished I could do to get to him. 
I would see him soon. A shiver of excitement went through me, paired with the chill of the day. Fall came to visit for the week bringing cooler weather that settled in for a short stay. The next week we were expecting 90 degree weather again. Summer would be back with vengeance. Just in time for my five hour drive around the lake to visit him.
My excitement was building. Only two more days, I thought to myself. Two days until I could hold his hand. Two days until I got to look him in the eyes. Until I got to press my lips to his. Repeatedly. For a whole week of vacation away from retail. Away from home. Just time away for a little bit, and time with him…for far too short a visit. 

The Shoplifter

I was already clocked out and shopping around he store when my Manager came up to me and asked the question. “Is that the woman you saw last week who stole all that merchandise?” I looked over my shoulder and confirmed it. It was her. Tattoo on her wrist as I recalled. She and I had a short conversation about that tattoo. A distinct cross in a colorful array of beams on the inside of her wrist. It was disappointing really. She had told me a story about how it had gotten infected and she almost died, but Jesus saved her. I wondered if it was true at all. Probably not. Probably a sympathy strategy she used to get away with things.

I walked around the store a while longer. My manager wandered around to keep an eye on her. She started noticing and became vocal. Making loud remarks about him following her. Rude to the few other customers we had. To other employees. She was clearly neurotic. Perhaps on pills. Perhaps on nothing and just sick. Maybe she needed pills. She was making it obvious she was up to something. I pretended I didn’t know what was going on. We couldn’t call the police. Loss prevention wasn’t there, and that was their job. All we had were cameras. On our phones and in the store we had cameras. So we did what we could to monitor her.

It was when she called out “You want to follow me into the dressing room too?” That it had become annoyingly prevalent. She had only infant clothing in her cart when she walked in. I looked at my manager, who stood by me as I looked at cardigans by the door. “I hope that onesie fits her.” He chuckled, but we both knew this situation was not funny. Our hands were tied. Without loss prevention in that day there was nothing we could do, but try to talk her down. We could already see talking wasn’t going to work.

While she was in the dressing room I got an idea. “I’m going to head out, good luck with everything.” He nodded at me and I walked out to my car. Sick to my stomach and weak in the knees, I slowly drove around the building. I watched her walk out. Herd her calling to him as he stood in the doorway, helpless. She taunted him to come get her. To chase her. Her purse was bulging, probably with stolen goods. I watched her scamper haughtily into her car. I read off the license plate number and typed it into my Notes app on my iPod. I hurried and drove up the street. She came barreling up behind me, not knowing I was an employee. Trying to run. She passed me. I got the make and model of her car and confirmed that plate number as she flew by. Going about 50 mph in a 25 mph zone. I almost called her in for reckless driving, but it wasn’t allowed to call her in for thefts as an employee who was not part of loss prevention, and I couldn’t in good faith not mention I watched her shoplift from us a second time.

I called my other manager when I got home and told her I got some info on our shoplifter. “Hang onto that. We need it.”

Playing Pretend

She did not mean to be come his everything,
and he did not mean to make her his everything.
She put herself there quite by accident.
The way she wrinkled her nose when taking out the garbage.
The way she danced to herself in the kitchen when seeking a snack
twirling from cabinet to cabinet.
The way she would put inanimate objects in timeout
or speak to the computer when it did not do as she requested.
Ordinary things that any other person might do as a quirk.
But she wasn’t any other person.
She was herself.
She was this unattainable thing deep inside,
and he loved her dearly for letting him pretend she were his.

One Weird Love Story

“What the hell?!?!”

“Oh my God! What are you doing here?”

Two aisles over the joyous greeting I overheard startled me. Nobody gets this excited in a Walgreens. Nobody. I know. I spend a great deal of time at Walgreens. I keep listening in to the man and woman as they speak.

“I work here!”

“You live around here too?”

“Yeah! You visiting someone?”

” Yeah my brother lives up here! Oh hang on a sec. Dude get over here this is the woman I married in Florida that night I got so drunk I wrecked the rental Mustang!”

I almost audibly laughed. Oh to be the fly on the wall of that bar. Two young adults, who hardly knew each other. Falling in love while drunk and getting married. Whether it was because of the near death accident or before the wrecking of the Mustang I didn’t know. They had suddenly become quiet. Probably in closer proximity. I moved an aisle closer to see if I could hear anything.

The gist of the story was just as I had suspected. The man had met her in the early evening at a bar, and they got drunk together. Flipped a car together. Had a one night stand together. Got married the next day by a justice of the peace, then never saw each other again. No divorce needed. One day they just split ways. Two young people looking for something to believe in. Years later, just reuniting….and fondly so. Sounded like he was convinced he should move closer. How hopelessly romantic. Oddly so, but romantic none the less. People are so fascinating to me.

I walked over to the cosmetic section as she and he neared the door. He paid for his merchandise and they chatted. He kissed her on the lips before he walked out the door. Passionately. The kind that was sweet for them, but uncomfortable for those of us eaves dropping. The match of their love was struck again. Flames grew brighter and you could almost feel the heat of their love as the sparks flew. Oh that reminds me I need to pick up matches too. I could only hope it was love and not something else. I could only hope they were really staying together this time. I silently prayed for their relationship while looking at primers.

I watched him grab a real estate paper from one of the free bins as the automatic doors closed behind him. She was shaking her head looking at one of her coworkers in disbelief. Throwing up her hands she stated to no one in particular “It’s gotta be fate right?”

I smiled. It was all strangely beautiful. I was so happy to have witness it.

My name was announced over the speaker. My prescription was ready. Life went back to normal.