I’ve had a couple days to be introspective about my new circumstances and really looking at why my corporate job was unsatisfying. I feel like processing this information has been really helpful for me to just to get me going into being self employed full-time, but also because it really solidifies that I’m heading in the right direction.

My intuition has been key in all of this. I could tell by the way I was treated by my coworkers and company owners that I was not wanted there. I often got the vibe that I was not there to do my job, but to be a yes man. I hated that. Because some ideas the company owners had were terrible, and really not serving the company well. I was vocal about my concerns with this as well with my coworkers. I know they had to have passed on the information.

I was also having trouble with a coworker in particular, who was a problem for most people in the company. His toxicity mad it very difficult to work with him, and I knew it was a manipulation to get people to be yes men to him, even though he had no authority in the company what-so-ever. I was at a point where his abusive behavior was an every day problem, but I knew no one was going to do anything about it because he’s friends with the company owner. All my fellow coworkers who were also having a hard time with him agreed that was the case. Anyone else would ahve been fired for less than what he pulled on us.

Lastly I knew I didn’t have the energy to invest in the chaos. One of the company owners knew he put stress on the teams, and acted like he was proud of it. Paying no mind to the fact that stress is the biggest cause of health issues in the world. Paying no attention to the fact that people were actually getting more frequently ill. Paying no attention to the waste of money some of the projects he assigned were (one project was to go take images of a barn he liked so he could frame it in his office). Paying no attention to workloads or priority (I was once asked to make a video of him processing the deer he caught during open season…not for any company use…just wanted to video a how-to for personal use…then I finished processing his deer because he had to go do something). Paying no mind to taking whatever he wanted from our offices (he took cameras away from graphics to give to his kid who wanted to become an internet influencer…his kid is 11…the camera cost came out of our department budget…as did replacing it). Overall showing poor leadership (not communicating respectfully), lack of practicality, and poor money management (my first two years the company didn’t have an actual written out budget).

I do not think this company will survive, which is why I made the decision to start looking into building my LCC. I thought they wouldn’t survive COVID shutdown. They still may not. I happen to know that captains tend to toss cargo when they’re trying to save a sinking ship. I just appended to be one of the pieces of cargo they tossed because it was less messy to toss me.

My mother didn’t work at the company like my department coworker, so they has less likelihood of losing two if they got rid of me. My other coworker is the toxic one…we all know he would put up a huge stink about it all…and was too much of a friend to be gotten rid of. Plus there was no way they could sustain their overhead during the struggles we had been having the past few months. Besides…they don’t have a data management system…he’s beeN managing the deliverables and libraries…so to get rid of him would have cost too much. They gave him too much power with lack of technological innovation. They couldn’t afford to fire him without getting lost.

So it had to be me, and I’m so glad it was. I was so ready to be out of there. Plus unemployment can help me as I pursue building my LLC.

One thought on “Processing

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