It had been over 30 minutes and the file still hadn’t uploaded to the server yet. Exasperated I sighed. I could do nothing else until it loaded because of course, it would slow the loading time more. Plus the server I was loading to couldn’t handle multiple tasks and I needed to download a die line from the server to start my package design.

The little green bar slowly crept across the screen as Wasabi attempted to upload. My boss peeked at my computer and in his quiet manner said “Do you have a book with you? Just read and let it go.”

I felt terrible for pulling out a book, but if my boss said it was okay I supposed it was. It reminded me of quiet reading time in school, when you were done with your school work or test early and were waiting on everyone else to be done or class to be over. In other words, it felt childish to sit and wait while others were working hard. My hands were tied.

So I read.

In total it took 40 min for the file to upload, and only 3 seconds for me to download the die line I needed. The stress was overwhelming as the projects came pouring in. It was one thing after another and nearly all of it had to be done on or before Friday. Of course. Especially after a short week, and having only heard about it later that morning.

My task was to have an entire package layout done by the end of the day and in Basecamp for review. I had spent most of the morning finishing and uploading the Care and Use guide for the same product. Everything was a rush. As usual. Which meant that most of what we were going to generate was probably going to be subpar at best. Not that we wanted it to be, but rush jobs always meant not spending as much time on something which means no one else will either, so resources and answers are reduced making content and design minimal.

In other words, this was going to be crap.

Rush projects always come back as rework later. Without fail. Already having been lectured at about rework earlier the week prior I found myself rolling my eyes a lot and being generally miffed. My attitude wasn’t helping my day get better, but it did file me to get through things quickly. I did what I could to make it better.

My boss then told me about a meeting for a rebrand that I had worked on. Originally they hadn’t really liked my design fully, but then they thought on it and my rationale and decided to go with it, only to take liberties and change it so dramatically that they were straying away from the direction of the rationale and the connection it made to the logo design. I wanted to roll my eyes even harder when he realized that I was not invited to the meeting. He felt badly. I didn’t. I was running out of love for the projects.

I was running out of love for all of it. I was burned out.

I spent the first hour after work at Walgreens getting prescriptions straightened out. Then came home to a quiet house. My husband was working the late shift. I was alone. I laid in bed. Answered a couple messages about jewelry I sold and updated everyone on their shipping stuff. Then…I just laid there in my bed.

It felt good to just lay there.

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