Worried

Topping off all the stresses of life, my cat is not well. My girl kitty Shelby who is 19 years old now, has urinary tract crystals and is absolutely miserable. Presently I’m locked in the guest room laying in the bed keeping an eye on her and tearing up every so often when she shows signs of strain and pain while she attempts to urinate. My boy kitty, Henry (now going into his terrible threes) is screaming loudly to come in outside the door. Upset that I brought canned food behind said door and did not let him follow and knowing full well Shelby is getting a treat and he is not.

Her symptoms started on the 4th of July. Of course on a day when there was little to nothing that could be done and not a single vet office open. I rubbed her belly and gave her treats. Fed her apple cider vinegar water and pet CBD to help with discomfort. I left her be when I could. I didn’t want to stress her out more.

I’ve had her for 19 years. Most of my childhood and young adult life. I almost don’t remember what life looks like without her. Facing my cats mortality feels painful, but when I became a cat owner I knew this would one day happen, and it would not be pleasant to let her go. I’m emotionally preparing myself for the worst. She is old. She may not recover. My heart will break. The world will keep on turning.

I watch her prayerfully now. Thankful that she’s already eaten half of her wet urinary health food. Thankful she’s still drinking water despite her discomfort. Saddened by the fact that I have to wait until Tuesday to take her in to the vet and worried about what her condition will be on Tuesday.

I do not want her to suffer. I do not want her to be in pain. I wish she could get better, but if she doesn’t I only hope to end her suffering peacefully.

2 thoughts on “Worried

  1. I am so very sorry. We had to euthanize a cat we had only 11 years. It broke my heart, but her kidneys had failed and I could not bear for her to suffer. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. We know the day will come when we have to say good-bye to our well-loved fur babies, but it is so painful.

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