Good Food

I don’t know that anyone wants to be obsessed with food. Not really anyway. I think about my dad who at 52 had to suddenly think about what he put in his mouth because of his Celiac diagnosis. I recall having to do the same at 8, and wondered which was worse? Having your life change as a child hardly understanding what’s going on? Or as a fully grown adult after years of never having to think about it that hard before.

Now I work as a graphic designer for a housewares company, and for social media posts we are almost always cooking something that I probably shouldn’t be eating. Type one diabetes and all that. My blood sugars have been out of control since college and I couldn’t tell you how much internal damage that may have caused that I don’t know about yet. Still my obsession with food in all the wrong ways has made things even more difficult. I like eating. I like being thin. I like not taking insulin because it keeps me thin while I eat whatever I want.

It’s awful though because lately my body is fighting back. A couple nights ago I got puking sick because my blood sugar was high and my body decided enough was enough and purged it all. Which did the trick, my blood sugar dropped like a stone. Still the whole experience wasn’t good or fun, and scared my husband considerably.

So now I’m trying to be good. I’m not eating out as much as I used to. I’m trying to stay away from the sweets and to take blood sugars regularly. I’m trying to use my blood sugar sensor more to keep me in line, but it’s hard to sleep at night when it’s constantly waking me up for high blood sugars. Still, I’m trying to adjust. I’m trying to change it. Most of all I’m trying not to fall of the bandwagon like in the past.

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