Existing

I slept in today. Ignoring the posts on Facebook about political upheaval and immigration. Avoiding the racism. Because today I didn’t want to hear about it. Today was my celebration. Today, 26 years ago, I was born. Read more

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Renewal

I speak on my struggle with prayer a lot. I have such trouble with understanding how to approach a God who is King of all and Over all, but still calls me friend. What does that look like whe. You’re approaching Him with reverence, but with the cares of your day, small and mergers as they feel? How do people do those kinds of things? How do people reconcile that in their minds and just….pray? Read more

Daydream

It’s been going on ever since I was 8. Not long after getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I began obsessively listening to music and rocking back and forth like a crazy person for the last 20 years of my life. A vivid alternative life playing through my brain the entire time. Constantly. I’ll often speak dialog out loud. I’ve even been caught doing it at work. Sometimes when I accidentally spoke my inner dialog I would tell people I was writing a short story and was working out dialog. Read more

Mentally Ill

My fiancé once told me that  horror films speak more on the times than any other genre of film. I asked him to explain himself further and he discribed to me that horror films often show us what people of a particular generation are most afraid of, and similar themes repeated are a result of that trend. If this statement is mostly true, we seek lots of serial killers and serial rapists, torturers and the tortured, and  personally tormented souls as antagonists. If anything, most of horror films repeat a common theme throughout generations…people are afraid of the mentally ill. Read more

Rambling

I woke up at 1:30 am. Laying awake, I suddenly was aware of how quickly time was flying. I’m getting married in three months. Three months! I wasn’t nearly as ready as I thought I ought to be!  I haven’t even sent out the save-the-dates! I haven’t even gotten my dress alterations! What about the obligatory bridal shower? With family so far apart I would have to have two of them! One here and one there! Why was this feeling so complicated? Read more