Now that I have internet again, after a year and a half of just using the 3G on my phone, I’m going to attempt to get back into the daily blogging thing. Though to be honest, I really don’t have much going on in my life outside of wedding planning, work, and as of right now, the holiday season. So buckle up…actually don’t it’s not going to be very wild. It’ll probably be super boring and I have no idea what I’ll find time to say or what bad poetry I’ll spew out.
Last weekend I was in Michigan for our catering tasting. The event of the tasting was actually pretty straight forward. We came. We ate. We likes it. We left. But it was afterward that I felt was a bit over whelming.
I got to meet my fiance’s family. Extended family. And it was awkward.
My fiancé himself can be a bit awkward, but in an eccentric and endearing way. On the other hand, I realize that many members of his family are just as if not more so. I met his aunt and uncle, who I had known a long time ago, but had grown into my adulthood away, and so that reintroducing to one another was not unpleasant, but as an introvert I struggle to meet people and find things to talk about. It’s even harder when the other part is not necessarily a good conversationalist either. So I played with the dog much of the time. Then we went to meet his grandmother, who was laid up with a bad infection in her foot, and in the process of moving in with her daughter. That was also painfully awkward, not just because as a young person I struggles to find common ground, but because my fiancé did very little to continue introducing us or helping stimulate the conversation…because his grandmother left the TV on and a Lifetime Christmas movie was on. So he was distracted. Which made me feel a bit isolated, even though my parents (who were kind enough to come along to drive me there with impending snow on the way) tried to be my backup and talk a bit I between awkward transitions.
I’m sure the family thought I was nice, and I know I didn’t say anything rude or controversial, because heaven knows I don’t have time or energy for that heap of drama. Still I can’t help but feel like breaking the ice really didn’t go that well. That the first impression was strained and exhausting. Mainly because I was already exhausted and that just heaped the more onto the events that transpired. I’m not good with dealing with people after I just traveled five hours for an overnight. Not to mention my inability to function running on little to no caffeine and then being toted around like a show horse.
I guess I’m supposed to be flattered by the fact that someone likes to show me off, but I don’t go showing him off. Nor do I like feeling like I have to put on a show for people and I don’t want to be made a spectacle of. That was one of the reasons I didn’t want a wedding in the first place. And quite frankly, I don’t care if people like him or not. I like him. I need no ones approval. Especially not my extended family’s. So I don’t go toting him around like a pony. Because he isn’t one. He’s a person. Honestly I would not have cared that much of no one in my family had met him ever. But apparently he feels differently.
So I forced the interactions the best I could. Then I spent a good deal of time resting the day I returned home from the trip. Went to bed super early. Then got up for work to start the whole forced interactions things again in a retail environment.
It was brutal.