This was just like trying to figure out the bridesmaid dresses. Staring at the screen for hours. Fickle. Evaluating. Trying to figure out what’s more practical. What’s more reasonable. What will work the best. That process had taken me several weeks. This shouldn’t be as hard as that. Wedding registries are about what the couple needs. What you and your spouse would like to replace. What you and your spouse could use.
We don’t need anything though.
All I can think about is how much this wedding is going to cost. Not just for myself and my fiancé (though that is a huge factor and quite a bit of money), but for others. I tried to keep dresses for my girls under 100 bucks. My fiancé tried to do the same for the guys. Suspenders and shirts with black pants and black dress shoes. He was buying them their ties. Now I was trying to keep my gift requests reasonable too, mainly because there wasn’t anything I couldn’t live without. Some nice table cloths, salad spoons, and maybe some new dishes, but everything I had was working for me. Table cloths I could get for myself and weren’t urgent. Not having salad spoons was not the end of the world. I could probably find nice ones at thrift stores for a dollar.
Why was this so hard?
I ended up exiting the site after browsing through it for nearly 3 hours. Hours of my life I would never get back. Staring at a screen. Trying to want something. There really wasn’t anything I needed. Nothing he needed. Practical things like gift cards to Menards or Lowes would be helpful. Gift cards for groceries. Those kinds of things might be useful. But even still, that really wasn’t the point. I just don’t want to ask anyone for anything if I don’t want or need it. It felt so obligatory. I was having buyers guilt on their behalf.
I called my fiancé.
“What do you think of forgoing the gift registry.”
I sighed. I could already tell he wasn’t game really.
“What if we put a charity or something that people can donate to instead of gifts. Or have a charity in lieu of gifts option and make a very small gift registry list?”
“That sounds good.”
I’m still struggling to come up with a good list for a gift registry. At least I have a charity selected. Samaritans Purse. Now I just hope people actually donate to it. I hope people realize my list is small because I don’t need or want anything.
I don’t even know that I want this wedding. It’s an awful lot of money for a big party. At least I can find a bit of hope in the fact that someone might benefit from my wedding…assuming people donate. Still…I can hope right?