Brother: Mom said that she was going to manipulate your life! I’m just warning you.
Me: I believe you. I totally believe you.
Mom: Despite all my efforts you still manage to be outrageously rebellious. It’s pissing me off.
Me: Yeah. I’m very good at telling you guys to go fuck yourselves aren’t I?
Mom: Yes. Now, come closer to me my child.
Mom: So I can kick you in the balls you think you have. I don’t wanna leave my chair.