“Why can’t we just elope?”¬†

I could practically hear the grimace over the phone. Without words his lips still managed to say  I thought women wanted weddings. I do. I want a wedding…of just the two of us and a pastor. Maybe a couple witnesses. They … Continue reading

House Hunt

“Honestly Em, you can legitimately live in that house for the same amount you’re living in your apartment.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

I thought about it for days already. The place was cute. In a quiet neighborhood with lots of families living on that street. The upstairs wasn’t finished, but it wasn’t hard to finish it up. Just new flooring through all of it, 4 sheets of drywall, a tub, and some paint. Good as new. Could make it completely my own. It had a tiny yard. Perfect. I could probably cut that lawn with a scissors in 3 hours. The yard was shared with the firehouse. That would be great for insurance. Plus asking price was wayyyy under $50,000. 

“I’ll have him take a look at it.” 

My boyfriend and I have been talking marriage for almost 9 months now. His insecurity with moving to Wisconsin had mainly been the big question: “Where are we going to live?” I had intended for the house hunt to happen with both of us present for most of it. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Not right now. It was too difficult for him to get over here. Too much hassle with work and obligations for him to see places in the flesh. I just happened to be anticipating my lease being up in October, and I was sick of renting. So I started looking for places to live. Something fairly small. When this two flat popped up I was interested. It had one of those curved roof lines. Brand new roofing too. I wanted to see it in person. 

The realtor who was selling it was a member of my church. My parents and I asked to set up a viewing. My dad is a Contractor and a licensed Inspector. We did a walk through. I fell in love with the first floor and saw so many possibilities with the unfinished second floor. I had dreams about this house. I told my boyfriend about it when I got home. I talked to my financial people about my options. I talked to my aunt about real estate stuff…most of which I didn’t know much about at all. We figured it all out. Set up a plan. 

Now I just gotta get him to see it and see how he likes it. 

Empty

I feel as if I have nothing left to offer you, parasite that you are.Go ahead. Sink your fangs in. You’ll be disappointed. I have nothing left to offer but these hollow veins and this battered heart. You see you were not the first, and I assure you they’ve done their job. They’ve taken what they could. Which is everything. Everything their pincers and tendrils and claws could take. Everything their mouths could draw out of me they’ve taken. Now it’s your turn and I have nothing but a vast emptiness that delves into what once were glorious depths. You call. I answer as nothing answers. With silence. 

Say

If my heart had anything to say, it would probably scream it out into the voids in hopes someone would hear it. If it had anything to say it might say it in the sound of broken glass muffled by the fluid within and around it. Or it might quiver quietly and whimper a quite sadness. Whatever it might do if it had something to say isn’t really what matters. What matter is it has nothing to say. 

They

They are without vision

When they are rootless

They planned

To stretch themselves

Open, wounded, and vulnerable

Hollow people

Hoping without optimism 

A period of destruction

Troubled and poignant

Burning themselves alive

Without a single flame

Bleeding out 

Without a pulse

Leaning on one another

Without stability

For however long they must

Just another set of

Singing bones

Waiting for some kind of 

Inheritance