Old Testament 

What’s hard about reding the Old Testament is that it pretty much feels like a history lesson, and not a spiritual lesson. I’m a history buff.i like knowing about the past as much as the next guy, but I cannot ignore that when I desire a spiritual experience (on days when my rational side is overcome by emotion) the Old Testament is not exactly the place I want to look. 
I started reading the Old Testament at the beginning of the year. I’m currently in Ezra, going very slowly, because I’m awful at following through. I struggle to read the Bible, because I have a very rebellious spirit, and would rather be doing other things. Needless to say, God is constantly making it very apparent to me that I need to be investing more in my spiritual life and my relationship with Him. So I’m trying. Stopping and starting a bunch. Mainly because of lack of hunger and desire. I often feel burned out, or angry at God for one thing or another. I keep coming back though, humbled and scolded spiritually. 
I’m reading the Old Testament for a singular reason…I’m lazy. I didn’t want to go through a particular study or book. I didn’t even know where to start. So I started from the beginning. Genesis. I’m finding it a challenge, not just because of the history lesson it’s become, but because much of the names and dates confuse me and go over my head. That and often, events are talked about, and Gods opinion isn’t offered like in the New Testament. The New Testament has Jesus proclaiming God’s will pretty much in its entirety. Jesus has Gods opinion on His lips. The Old Testament has a bit of that too, but there are occasions where I want to throw the book down and ask God his feelings on the matter, because it mentions events that happen, but not how God felt about them. Unless some prophet has a dream or speaks Gods will, events of the Old Testament are just that, events. 
I suppose God does have feelings on all matters, but has His reasons for not revealing them at the time. I find it hard for my very human and opinionated mind that I have a God that can so easily choose silence. I sure wouldn’t have. I’d be shooting off my mouth left and right about how an event made me feel, how it didn’t make sense, how foolish and petty the people were. I project that on God a lot. Assuming He would be just like me. Alas, I am humbled more and more by the fact that He is perfection and I am only a resemblance of His image, something that sin has distorted and corrupted since my conception. I am made in his image, but a faded and broken version. 
Still, I press on. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s