Do you ever feel like ambiguity in a relationship is really annoying? It’s like people who yell to you as you’re about to go to the bathroom: “Oh and be careful how you flush the toilet. It’s a little weird.”
What does that even mean? Should I flush quickly? Hold down the lever? Have a plunger on stand by? Do they even have a plunger? What kind of people don’t have a freaking plunger?
Recently a lady friend of mine went through a break up. The relationship was approximately two weeks long. By day two they were saying they loved each other. By day three they had eight fights under their belt from what I counted. The day it ended she felt her world was crumbling to a bitter dark pit of nothingness. Six hours later she had another date with another guy.
From the fights she expressed to me, it had sounded like the relationship was kind of undefined. Neither he nor she had really asked the other if they were going steady. Things were just kind of assumed. She was upset because she falls hard and fast without realizing it, and he was upset because he didn’t know what the hell was going on because she was acting like they were ready to move in together by the end of day three!
I have a neighbor down stairs who is kind of the same. An older guy, retired but with a good amount of spunk in him. Charming to the point of fault. I feel like he talks about a new woman every time I see him. Then he complains about how they’re at the end of marriages but still married, or they’re going through a break up but keep rebounding with the last guy.
“I don’t know why they do that.” He complained to me as he took another drag of his cigarette. I shook my head as I poured he and myself a cup of coffee and brought it to him on the couch.
“Can I ask if they’re actually aware you’re seeing them?”
“How could they not? I made out with every one of them!”
“Doesn’t mean anything man. Not in this day and age unfortunately. If you don’t say the words, they aren’t going to know.”
When did people forget to tell each other that? When did people stop asking each other out on dates or if they were willing to go steady? When did permission become optional? When did clarity become unacceptable?
I’m so pissed off.