As I sat next to him, it became more and more obvious that something was terribly wrong. It was until he fell off the bed gasping for air, that I was aware it was worse than I feared. I called the vet immediately, and less than a half hour later we were looking at x-rays.
It didn’t look good.
Oliver, over a short period of time, had developed fluid that completely filled one lung, and a mass that was filling half of the other. As the vet told me this my heart sank into my stomach and tears flooded from my eyes. I was ready for it. I knew the moment he had nearly died in my bedroom that this was coming. It was just difficult to grasp.
However, the decision was not hard to make.
I have learned through relationships with humans and pets, that sometimes for the health of either party, you have to let that relationship go. It became obvious to me how badly my Oliver was suffering. It was easy to know that there was no saving him. He had stopped eating as much recently, and that was clear to me that he was ready to go. He was already trying.
I stayed for the procedure. It took seconds really. I pet him and said sweet things to him the whole time. Tearing up as I recalled the moment he came into my life, and now had to face him leaving it. In a half minute from my decision to put him down he was gone. He fell asleep never to wake up again. It was abrupt, the moment the syringe was empty he was gone. My heart felt wrung out, but not crushed. My eyes burned with tears and remain burning as I hold them back to write this now.
We had a good run. Twelve years was a good life for him, all things considered. I was glad to have been able to be his home in his time of need, and glad I was able to help assist him in his end…when he needed it.
I’m terribly sad about the whole thing still. The ability to nurture a living being and care for it all it’s life is a beautiful thing. I still have my dear Shelby, my lady kitty. But Oliver had been my first. My baby boy. He had been my tear catcher and comfort though some of my roughest moments.
Now he is just gone.