I had forgotten how good it felt to take my vitamins. I actually felt like a human being again. My blood sugars were normal for at least one day. Only one low in the afternoon after hauling a bunch of boxes to and from the back, as we set up new inventory. I felt good. Emotionally and physically for once. A little tired, but that was better than exhausted.

I hadn’t taken a vitamin in well over a year. I took them fairly regularly in college, but since then they had been thrown into boxes and put in the basement. Besides, I found myself forgetting to take them more often than not, so I really wasn’t feeling like they were helping. But now I wondered if I could make it part of my morning routine. I pulled them out two nights ago, threw out the expired ones, and yesterday I bought replacements for them.

I forgot mostly how good St. Johns Wort was for me. After my last bought with antidepressants I had given the herbal vitamin up so they wouldn’t interfere with the new meds. I felt like I needed something stronger at the time, and no doubt I did, but those were the worst. They didn’t make my stomach bleed or anything like I had feared, but losing 20lb in a week isn’t normal for anyone. It hurt to eat. It was uncomfortable to sleep. After about 5 months I had to be done. Now I’m just coming back to the more wholistic approach. Something more natural. Caffein and St. John’s Wort. Who knew that nutrition could help something as severe as depression? Maybe not cure it, but perhaps managing is a kind of cure.

I’m not a health nut, I promise. I actually take a sick amount of joy in making fun of people who are on occasion when they behave as pretentiously crunchy as one might assume granola to be. But, I do think we don’t give nature more credit for the cure. As a person with many illnesses both physically and mentally, I find alternatives that are much more natural to be much more helpful, especially since my primary issues (type one diabetes) is considered a wasting disease. Most of my issues are from lack of proper nutrition because my body doesn’t absorb the vitamins it needs to use daily. So I’m back on vitamins again. I hope it continues to help instead of giving me a false sense of security.

I wish I could take a vitamin for my spiritual life.


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