Forgive…Then Never Forget

Why the hell
Am I asked to love her?

She continues to abuse and argue
“…if you knew your job…”
Fuck off lady. I know my job.
You’re the ignorant one.

I sit in the pew.
Several rows behind her.
Pastor talking his brains out.
She has no idea.
Continued ignorance.
She doesn’t know I exist.
I want to keep it that way.
Fuck you lady.

I know I have committed
Murder in my heart.
I have wished her dead
More than once.
All I want is to walk up to her
Just after service
And slap her across the face.
You don’t know my life.
Be a bitch again.
I dare you.

But, then again, I do not know her’s either.

So I sit in my seat.
Conflicted.
Wishing I could walk up to her.
To say something hurtful.
To pain her as she has plagued me.
To be just as rude.
Just as poisonous.
I ant to ruin her day.
Her life.
I want her to fear for her life.
For her soul.

Yet there is God’s voice.

Forgive her.

No. No. No.

Forgive her.

No.

Forgive her.

Fuck you.

Imma let that one slide. Forgive her as I forgive you.

Death first!

Shut up and do it!

*thunder rolls*

Okay. Okay. Don’t strike me man!

Not so tough now are you?

Whatever.

*God shaking his head*

I pray.
I try to forgive.
I am continually finding myself
Forgiving.
Because I cannot forget.
But I never promised
I would forget.
And no one ever
Asked me to.

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