I want to turn on the shower, and slip away. I want to let the drops of water wash away who I am. To make me someone else. To let the lavender soap take my pale skin and peel it away, to reveal the new person underneath. A healing metamorphosis. A beautiful and gentle change. Effortless and magical.
A silver spoon. Someone with the resources of the rich and famous. Who doesn’t need to work hard anymore, who has the time, money, and energy to live life and enjoy it. Someone who was smart enough to figure out how to let their money make money for its self. Who only needs to worry about spending less than they make, which is easy when you make so much. Someone who enjoys building relationships and investing time and money into those relationship with a joyful heart. Who gives to and builds charities for people in need, but the kind that helps build sustainable change, not one that throws money at problems as if money were a bandaid on the wound of poverty. A charity that helps rebuild from the very spiritual source of poverty
Or perhaps someone who is self sustaining in this world of codependency? Someone who doesn’t need another soul, but rather the comforting presence of animals. Someone who lives happily in the woods. A hermit. With dreadlocks in my hair, and a house full of the sweet smell of dried fruits and flowers. A wise young hermit woman who sleeps on mossy knolls under the starlight. Who wears skirts woven from spiders thread, and shirts made of milkweed fluff. Dyed with berries of the forest. Washed in wild springs and dried in sunlight. Someone who is kind and offers adventures to weary travelers who happen to stumble upon her little cabin in the woods. Serene with hospitality and a gentle spirit.
If only. If only I wasn’t bound to the person I am. The broke college graduate. Diabetic. Dependent. Sad.